recently my heart has been so very heavy. not only have i realized that i mildly suck at motivating myself to do school work (thus my grades are now suffering for it), i also realize that a big part of the reason i have a lack of motivation is because my heart is focused primarily on my ministries.
i'm not saying i regret that God has led my heart to what He deems more significant and eternal, because i do not. i have felt, however, that these ministries are bearing so much fruit, yet are also being attacked hardcore by the enemy. he is out there, "prowling around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." this is how scripture describes it.
"satan has two primary tactics when it comes to neutralizing you spiritually:
discouragement and fear....he wants to scare the heaven out of you. he wants to put you on your heels so you become reactive and defensive. that is why he is described as a prowling lion."
part of the reason my heart has been heavy is because i found out that my african family has been going through a lot of trial and persecution. first, the woman i got closest to and two of the babies got meningitis and were in critical condition/in a coma in the hospital for weeks. we were all genuinely worried that they could die. then, i found out that the owners of the baby house received a notice in the mail saying that their rent had been more than doubled for no reason at all--this is something they could not afford. homes are very hard to come by in the town of matola, especially one that would house an entire family, 15 children, the staff, and all of the missionaries who come to help out and stay for long periods of time. this house has to be huge, have adequate room for the kids to play outside, and many other amenities to help the baby house function properly. they were told they had to be out by january 1, 2009, and were having no luck in finding anything, even with an experienced real estate expert in the area.
i've been praying diligently for the past few weeks for them, and upon opening my email this morning, found a story that brought me chills.
3 months ago, pieter, the father of the house, had some documents translated into english for his Visa by a local man. the day he went to pick up the documents, the translator let him know that he had a house available for rent. pieter paid no mind to this, because they didn't need a house at the time.
a few days ago, when pieter's real estate agent called him to tell him to come look at a house he had found for a price they could actually afford, he rushed to go see it. when he arrived, he toured the house and asked owner of the house if he spoke english. he replied with "yes, i am an english translator here in the area." in that moment, he and pieter instantly recognized one another.
three months ago, God knew that they would need a house for all of their babies, and he was holding onto it for them.
see, trial and joy go hand in hand. my heart has been heavy because i was not trusting enough, i was not praying enough, and i did not have enough joy.
i cannot for one minute be naive to the fact that satan is so prevalent because he is threatened by what we are doing here. he is skakin' in his boots because the spirit is moving.
how great is our God?
sing with me,
how great is our God?
and all will see
is our God?